Friday, July 29, 2005

Gerry Adams: We Will Stop Murdering Folks Now

Terrorism is now passé among the IRA. No longer will Gerry Adams' colleagues engage in murder, bombing, terrorism, kneecapping, and their other traditional forms of mayhem. Having recently lost their position as Britain’s #1 terrorist organ, the IRA folks have finally thrown in the towel and will strive to become legitimate businessmen and politicians. To test this hypothesis, Globe reporter Kevin Cullen describes Adams’ followers quite frankly:

In an order effective at 11 a.m. EST yesterday, the IRA said its cadre of former assassins, bombers, and kneecappers must devote all their energies in trying to unite Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland to the south through peaceful, political means.

For Cullen’s sake, his story today best prove true. No word on how the IRA will maintain their core competence in the robbery and extortion businesses without maintaining the skills that are usually required in these professions when facing extreme client relationships.    

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